In order to enjoy a close and intimate bond with our partner, we need to be mindful of the emotional state of the relationship. A high-quality sexual relationship will never be achieved without an honest and genuine emotional bond of trust. Sex will become non-existent or the domain of one controlling partner over one submissive partner or a mutual using of each other’s body.
Each individual brings with them all that they are outside the bedroom walls into the sanctity of the enclosed bedroom space. With humor, goodwill, and enthusiasm, the skill level of both people can improve rapidly. A few good sex books can do wonders for a couple.
We cannot assume that our partner understands the sexual needs of a body that has a different physical and emotional functioning to their own. Even gay couples cannot assume to know how a different person functions sexually, though it is the same structural type of body. Every good-natured experiment in the bedroom is one step closer to a more satisfying experience. A couple may even choose to investigate such ideas as the meridians and pressure points of Taoist foreplay if they would like their sexual relationship to become more holistic and healing.
Currents of the Sea
An individual’s sexual energy level can vary dramatically. Illness and tensions, well-being and happiness, alternate interests, and the ongoing cycles of life affect one’s desire. The ebb and flow of sexual interest is as changeable and, sometimes, unpredictable as the currents of the sea.
Like everything else in life, spiritual students respond to sexual matters through the eyes of love and wisdom. It is no secret that men are usually more driven by sex than women. However, this can vary over the years with stress, age, personality, the state of the relationship, and other issues.
Communication and a desire to make the relationship work are important. Compromise is a good path if it helps another and does not harm us. If one person feels that they need more sex than the other, a regular and mutually agreed quota is sometimes enough to fix the problem. The one needing more sex will find the patience to wait. The other will relax, knowing that they will not be consistently harassed and they will put their energy into making the night special.
A quota may not seem very romantic but the reality of sex is, often, far from romantic.
Sex is, frequently, the stewing pot of friction. It is so fragile that the smallest things can sabotage the whole event. For most people, it has innumerable problems. Yet, in spite of this, it has a naked, mystical essence that relentlessly and, almost, ruthlessly draws together those souls that have a secret to share with each other.
While the romantic looks a little soppy and self-absorbed to me, the true lover has a healthy, robust, earthy, strong, and loving attractor field which automatically asks for a like response in his or her partner. Do not underestimate the capacity of your partner to grow through the intimacy of sexual union. Both men and women need to be strong, confident, forthright, kind, gentle, and nurturing.
In the bedroom, three are present – the partners and the Divine. Use the openness and vulnerability of the sexual arena to grow closer to God and give that same gift to your loved one.
Attractiveness as an Energy Field
One of the quickest ways to destroy a sexual relationship is neediness. Without doubt, neediness in sex will result in some form of rejection. What a paradox – the thing that is desired must be released in order to be gained. The more we want it, the less we will have it.
Some men and women seem to have mastered the genuine, non-needy approach to sex. Independence is a highly attractive quality. It may not be the highest human quality but, rest assured, without independence and lack of neediness, the individual will not be able to progress past a certain point on the emotional and spiritual path.
There is a direct correlation between the level of neediness and the level of attractiveness, regardless of age and physical appearance.
As we become emotionally and spiritually independent, we automatically radiate a stronger auric field. This is interpreted as attractiveness by other people. Fortunately, as we progress we have less desire to use individual qualities such as attractiveness as a means of controlling others for personal gain. The person who is desired must learn to love others in a way which is helpful and kind but without taking advantage of the interest other people have in them. Many fallen-gurus have fallen because of this seduction. The lure of using personal attractiveness for selfish gain is significant. However, to do so means an instant fall from grace in the Divine hierarchy. Part of the responsibility of spiritual power is to not use it selfishly. Of course, people make mistakes in sexual relationships with this issue, but no mistake is permanent if the error is seen and sincerely corrected.
This article is from Love’s Longing